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This will admit me to an urgent pregame press conference, at which Cubbie executives promise to reveal an elaborate secret scouting and hitting program of theirs, which will feature a deadly new use of the bunt.
Once a year or so, he would be invited to a collector show in Chicago — another marginal old Cubbie sitting at a table, signing cards.
Al Yellon, for example, who has run Bleed Cubbie Blue, a site devoted to the Chicago Cubs, will oversee the Chicago site.
The team's history is as quirky as it is lengthy and sorry, rife with what Lou Piniella liked to call "Cubbie occurrences".
The band comprises the lead singer and songwriter Mark Foster, the drummer Mark Pontius and Cubbie Fink on bass, who came together in Los Angeles in 2009 when the trio began making music that Foster jokingly describes as "if Bryan Wilson and the Aphex Twin had a band baby that grew up in Motown".
Not likely, but if Epstein were to go the player/manager route, he has a guy on his roster who is intimately familiar with Cubbie Occurrences, having been responsible for about 12 of them.
You had to feel sorry for the terrified persona-non-Cubbie when his own dad refused to confirm that he was related to him.
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