"There are things already on the shelf such as anti-wrinkle creams that are created from a rooster's comb," he tells me, referring to Pfizer's penchant for white leghorns.
There he described in detail the testosterone creams and other substances he would be recommending for his use.
There is a whole wing of French pancake cookery based around sticky liqueur sauces and laced creams, peaking with crêpes suzette but, certainly in the UK, most cooks cannot use alcohol as a subtle flavouring, only to administer a punch to the throat.
He picks goods off the shelves – capsules, toothpastes, body creams – and stacks them on the counter as he explains what they do.
There's more to the Isle of Wight than coloured sand and ice creams on the beach, as the new "Wight History Trail" proves.
But, to be truthful, it wasn't this that held me in true rapture at the time, it was the man walking along the beach with ice creams and fruits encased in a friable coating of caramel as delicate as a butterfly's wing, crying out "ArroriviagelatievitaminiBB".
Including face creams, foundations, and mascara, the value of Kardashian's bathroom shelf adds up to $1,977.75 £1,2900).
Languorous and stylish with a touch of the film set, it's all greys, whites and creams, with tiled floors, marble staircases, beams, shutters and billowing curtains, crisp linens and chandeliers.
To claim that ice creams are an enemy of the reef but building ports and encouraging fossil fuel burning are not, is a whole tub of something – and it's not triple chocolate.
The creams the huge beauty corporations want you to buy are trying to sell you the skin of your twenties.
Regular visitors to the "health and beauty" sections of high-street pharmacies will, no doubt, have come across creams, pills and potions bearing the word antioxidant on their labels and hinting though never, of course, explicitly saying that they might possibly have rejuvenating effects.
