An opening bat! · Jokes courtesy of Upper Crust Crackers.
The adrenalin pumps regularly and often, whether we're in mortal danger or just coming out to bat at number 9 for Malden Wanderers third XI.
From claims he is a "cancer" in the dressing room to his persistent underperformance with the bat, this tour has been a shrieking, knives-out disaster for Watto.
Our top order collapses and we lose; our middle order collapses and we lose; we bowl well and we lose; we bat well and we lose; we lose and then lose again.
Pietersen also shook hands with all the Leicestershire fielders before walking off with bat raised high, having scored 355 not out from 396 balls, including 36 fours and 15 sixes.
Watching Andrew Flintoff bat this summer has been like watching someone get used to a knife and fork after a lifetime eating with his fingers.
But while proposals are common elsewhere, that's not the case in Spain, so Esther didn't suspect anything until the cuddly bat handed Jesús the shirt, he went down on one knee and all around her people started clapping and cheering.
Here's how I imagine that I'd imagine the discussion would have gone: Hey kid, you can't be late, so I have to have this 'meeting' with you, but you and I both know that if it wasn't for your bat I'd be sipping margaritas by my pool in Indiana right now, so just be patient here and go through these motions with me, OK? Oh, and don't worry about that fine, I got it.
He eventually perished in the deep to Sakande before striding off, bat raised towards the pavilion and the phalanx of photographers.
By the time his three-and-a-half hours in the middle had come to an end, caught in the deep, some 24 fours and two sixes had flown from the bat.
With the top two (Lancashire and Surrey) playing out a rain-affected draw in which Gareth Batty, perhaps infected by the battle-fever at the sight of the Red Rose, chose to bat into the third day, Glamorgan seized the chance to close on a promotion slot with a win over Northamptonshire.
