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Jerk, in the sense of "boob," has been ubiquitous since 1935, and dork (from dirk, "dagger," with its penile connotation similar to schmuck) has been with us at least four decades, but they remain slang.
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Not some black-tie dinner where you're sitting next to some schmuck who's going to tell you what he paid for his swimming pool.
He strains to think, he stumbles over words (his attempt to pronounce "schmuck" is timed with perfection) and he tries so hard -- especially when he belts out: "Telling the truth can be dangerous business, honest and popular don't go hand in hand.
Who wants to subscribe to Zappos (the legend in the Twitter customer services area) and see every customer service response they have to every schmuck with a problem with their shoes?
Is it a gift that the woman should do whatever she wants with, or does it belong to the schmuck who spent two months of his salary on it?
He brought that same energy to the Comic Con panel, affectionately bullying the fans who had lined up to ask him questions, as if to point out how ridiculous it is that they lined up to ask some schmuck about pretending to be a cool guy who kills undead creatures with a shotgun and a chainsaw duct taped to the nub where his hand once was.
They loan out road bikes to poor schmucks like us who don't own road bikes (yet) but still want to participate in charity rides.
And the Panama Papers are 11m more pieces of evidence suggesting to the schmucks that the system is having them on, that if they had enough money and good enough tax advisers they too could set up some complicated international structure with a tropical island post box and pay no tax.
We were originally up in arms that Ed Zipco gave the "exclusive" of the new Ninjasonik video to some schmucks called Chunnel.TV instead of a more (cough) deserving online video network.
But the director, Jay Roach, in search of more material, had swung his cameras around to shoot the schmucks' reactions to Madam Nora, as well as any bits they wanted to improvise.
The biggest thing to remember is some schmuck had to sit through your beginnings and look where you are today.
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Justyna Jupowicz-Kozak
CEO of Professional Science Editing for Scientists @ prosciediting.com