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Society's unwillingness to let go of the tired old "breadwinner" model of masculinity contributes to that distress.
The "one breadwinner model" of family life now updated to 1½ breadwinners remains the cultural norm in west Germany.
The male breadwinner model makes men feel that when jobs are scarce, men should have first access; state policies tend to reflect this.
In addition, certain historic features of the UK's state pension system, which was originally designed around the male breadwinner model, have disadvantaged women.
Fathers share parental leave, kindergartens are heavily subsidized, and the universal breadwinner model is quite deeply entrenched — from the workplace to popular culture.
"That male breadwinner model is still deeply rooted in society's psyche," says Dr Eva Neitzert of the Women's Budget Group, a network of over 300 leading feminist policy analysts and academics.
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These are in line with the argument (Blaskö, 2005) that the acceptance of the male-breadwinner model after 1989 was mostly due to massive unemployment in the early nineties.
A New York Magazine article entitled Alpha Women, Beta Men colorfully describes some of the havoc wrought by this trend while a recent Reuters piece on The Female-Breadwinner Model focuses on how to make the most of it.
Hans-Peter Kohler, a professor of demography at the University of Pennsylvania, says this cultural shift is happening across high-income countries due to increased education, higher female labor force participation and the decline of the traditional husband-as-breadwinner model.
This echoes the male-breadwinner model, which is evidently still persistent in western Germany.
This finding suggests that cohabitation may be a better place for reframing conventional gendered expectations about childrearing when compared with marriage, especially where institutional frameworks support a male-breadwinner model (as is the case with Italy).
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