She shows up so stoned that she has "dilated-to-meet-you" pupils, dressed in the canary-yellow pantsuit she wears to bail hearings, presumably after protest rallies.
"I was nervous because you don't usually sing to the Queen and you don't usually see the Queen walking to you, do you?" Another pupil, Hannah, said the children had been "rehearsing lots" and staying after school every Monday to prepare for the visit.
"But what follows from that is that if you get wastage down to zero you have pupils going hungry as the portion sizes are the same for four to 11-year-olds".
If a girl doesn't like you, her pupils will stay small when she looks over at you.
So how "visible" is the learning you want pupils to achieve in a lesson?
What do you want pupils to get out of the trip?
"GCSEs and A-levels are good tests – if you teach pupils more than just the syllabus," Dr Hands added.
After the workshop we send you the pupils coded quizzes so the students can go on to build more quizzes and hone their coding skills back at school.
Studies in Tennessee and Dallas have shown that, if you take pupils of average ability and give them to teachers deemed in the top fifth of the profession, they end up in the top 10% of student performers; if you give them to teachers from the bottom fifth, they end up at the bottom.
And if I tell you its pupils wear grey blazers with red trim, ties and V-necked pullovers, stand in obedient lines waiting for teachers to lead them into classrooms, and sometimes learn Latin, you probably envisage a leafy suburban school, patronised by affluent white families from expensive detached houses.
When you teach pupils in such a way, they easily remember".
