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And if you are going to have a go at the wrong bloke in person, surely the red-faced climbdown that follows should be delivered in the same way.
"I was very clear when I took the chair: 'If you want some poodle who's just going to be your mouthpiece, you've got the wrong bloke, because I'm not doing that.
I will always wonder if I did the right thing, and whether I'd be happier bringing up an adored child with the wrong bloke rather than being an increasingly doolally single woman, speeding towards middle age and contemplating the utter hash I've made of my life.
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Songstress Taylor Swift is also an incurable romantic who can't help falling for the wrong blokes.
Bouncers, I knew, even back then, back before I'd faced the ignominy of not being allowed in a club on my birthday while all my friends waltzed in and I spent a night sat on the banks of the Thames in Kingston wondering where it all went so very very wrong, were blokes unlike myself.
I don't disagree with any of that: get it wrong against these blokes and you tend to learn some painful lessons.
Some took wrong turnings – two blokes were sent back from the ladies' toilets – but most agreed that Athletic had got it right.
If you feel certain that the man you book is doing his job by choice and not because he's forced into it by circumstances (you could always pay for him to come over for a chat first if you really want to sort out your conscience) then I can't see anything wrong with employing a bloke for sexual favours.
Gaulke said that it's "morally wrong" to pay a bloke in cash for flushing your pipes, unplugging your drain, or making sure your heater's all warmed up and toasty.
Mr Smith's friends said he had "done nothing wrong" and was "lovely, gentle bloke who would not hurt a fly".
Wrong 'un rating: 5/10 The bloke from First Dates who didn't turn up for his date with Georgia It's bad enough standing someone up, let alone in a restaurant rigged with dozens of cameras.
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Since I tried Ludwig back in 2017, I have been constantly using it in both editing and translation. Ever since, I suggest it to my translators at ProSciEditing.

Justyna Jupowicz-Kozak
CEO of Professional Science Editing for Scientists @ prosciediting.com