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When one of the contestants calls another housemate "spastic", he warns: "Lose 'spastic' or Ofcom will be shitting blood for a week".
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Your life can't be just about you, or your life will be shit.
Asked what he thought of the Garden Bridge, Self replied: "It could be great – it will be shit".
The new Doctor Who is imminent but they already know it will be shit and they hated it before anyone else.
"I said, 'I'll write it but it will be shit.'" "Once the discussion had been had I don't think anyone had any trouble executing what had been agreed," said Nicholson.
"But if you treat people like shit, they will be shit.
So in bed, you will be shit because you will be nervous and fumbling and weird; and they will be shit because they don't actually like you and they can smell your desperation.
So in bed, you will be shit, because you will be nervous and fumbling and weird; and they will be shit, because they don't actually fancy you and they can smell your desperation.
If TV show characters are like our friends who we love to gossip about, here, ranked, are the ones you will be shit-talking for the next few weeks.
My favourite character is Hazel Bailey, a hard-as-nails, chain-smoking agent given lines like, "You'll have the league so far up your arse, you'll be shitting studs".
I'm sure they'll be shit.
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Justyna Jupowicz-Kozak
CEO of Professional Science Editing for Scientists @ prosciediting.com