What came instead was Haydn's "London" Symphony, No. 104, no major disappointment but no particular revelation either.
But what came instead were pictures by upstart independent filmmakers hawking an alternative scenario to "Shock and Awe": the charred corpses of civilian contractors strung up in Fallujah, the beheading of Nick Berg, the tableaux vivants of Abu Ghraib, the neat rows of 49 slaughtered Iraqi recruits decomposing in the sun.
What comes through, instead, is a grudging understanding and respect.
And that sadness is a very painful emotion to deal with, so what comes out instead is anger.
"I also liked the ease involved in setting search parameters and checking out what comes up instead of getting all cramped and grimy leaning over the classifieds".
But what comes through instead is the absurd but lovable creativity of a culture that has taken this not-quite-a-food and molded it into, among other things, a mask of Judge Lance Ito, a food-fight missile, a Marilyn Monroe metaphor ("Jell-O on springs") and a protest of the Miss America Pageant ("Mold Jell-O, not Women!").
What comes to mind instead are YouTube, video games, Web surfing and watching television with a heavy thumb on the channel changer.
It's anyone who sees a tiny baby doing what comes naturally and, instead of being touched for a moment by the wonder of life, gets "offended".
I could go into how ridiculous it is for the media to be constantly focusing on her clothing and hair instead of on what comes from her heart, instead of the impressive way she presents her thoughts and has come to embrace being a role model for girls and women, but I'll put that on hold.
Think about what type of earrings you'll get instead of what comes after.
