I wanted to visit Japan because of a video game in which you had to jump over animated turds.
It is second nature in Shahabpur to walk along the middle of roads to avoid stepping on the turds lying thickly either side.New migrant wealth also threatens to shake up the ancestral balance of power.
That year, an army captain was arrested for forcing 200 conscripts to eat turds as punishment for dirty latrines.
Birds that live off turds are evidently not a matter of great concern.
The intention is right, even if the dancing turds will not immediately be to everyone's taste.
Before it was domesticated it lived free in Mexico (patriotic Americans may opt to celebrate a few fossilised turds which prove that another strain of turkey was once reared independently, in what is now the south-western United States).
This is the story of Uhtred, a young man who has what would nowadays be described as "identity issues" and is prone to dismissing his enemies as "turds".
And there's someone on my street who circles all the dog turds in chalk, labelling them a "Crime Scene".
"Our cisterns simply can't take the strain of flushing away anymore Polish turds", he'll shriek at a rally, and everyone will cheer and wave a Union Jack.
Why do dogs do the squashiest, most unpleasant turds that hide in the grass and spread themselves in the indentations on the bottom of your shoe, but don't start smelling until you get indoors and then render the place uninhabitable until you've left every window open for a month?
Spending hours a day, it seemed, roiling in an unending onslaught of info turds and falling further and further behind.
