It's the sort of thing that Ted, the foul-mouthed teddy bear in Seth MacFarlane's hit comedy, would no doubt treat with withering disdain: MacFarlane is being sued by an inventor of a talking bottle opener for infringing his copyright with promotional Ted merchandise.
If one of the reasons why you don't sound friendly is because of nerves, spend some time memorizing small talk openers so that you can get conversations started without feeling nervous.
Jonathan Trott is facing a fight to save his Test career after his technique against fast bowling was exposed for the second time in consecutive days by Mitchell Johnson, and Australia's big-hitting, trash-talking opener David Warner then cranked up the pressure even further by raising questions about the batsman's courage.
Talking about conversation openers, he said: "Asking about a pet is personal, without being intrusive".
It's a very interesting talking point and conversation opener.
He still did plenty of talking during the series opener, a Russian program, on Tuesday evening at Avery Fisher Hall.
All of which was apparently news to Warner's own team-mates, who had simply been wondering why their star opener wasn't talking much in training.
He was talking specifically about the division series opener, which Girardi confirmed that Sabathia would start.
David Cushley slotted home the opener before a major talking point after referee Tim Marshall awarded Coleraine a penalty for a foul on Ben Doherty.
But the latest Maryland uniforms, which made their debut Monday night in the Terps' season opener against Miami, had people talking on Twitter and elsewhere.
Andrew Strauss, the England opener, alluded to it earlier this year when talking about Zimbabwe.
