When they awaken on Aug. 26, they are pleased to learn that China has won all the gold medals in table tennis and diving, that the Games went flawlessly and that "all the foreigners were awed".
Apart from strong performances in traditional favourite categories such as table tennis and diving, China also won gold in more diverse sports including boxing and yachting.
Carry a brimming, ultra-affordable plate to one of the communal picnic tables and dive in.
The bulk of China's gold has come in its traditional strengths: badminton, table tennis, gymnastics, shooting and diving or in less mainstream sports that it has identified as soft targets, like weight lifting.
We put newspaper down on the tables and then dive in.
And it is true, finally, that two recent earthquakes near Beijing are feeding fears of another one in the capital itself.But gold medals in events like table tennis, diving and gymnastics (China is arranging the games to suit its strengths) will doubtless stir patriotism among even the most ungrateful Chinese.
Its first appearance at the summer Olympic Games after 1952 was at the 1984 Olympics in Los Angeles, when it took 15 gold medals and came fourth on the medal table, largely in gymnastics, shooting and diving.
Triple H gave Edge a Pedigree on the announce table, and Shawn Michaels did the diving elbow drop on Randy Orton through the Spanish announce table.
Its biggest successes have come in six core sports: badminton, weight lifting, table tennis, diving, swimming and artistic gymnastic.
We would sit at the kitchen table, open the box and dive in, talking about our days, what we were going to do this weekend and who the guest stars were on tomorrow night's episode of The Love Boat.
