Why did she leave me?" Tobin whimpers tearfully to his agent, Bruno (the droll David Greenspan), adding, "I'm such a fuck-up.... I'm a thirty-eight-year-old loser".
"I wouldn't actually have minded him forgetting again if he'd just got over it and tried to make the day really lovely," she told me, "but he was so bothered about his failure that he kept bashing around the flat going, 'Oh GOD, why am I SUCH a FUCK-up' for hours and hours, until I finally managed to convince him it didn't matter and that I didn't care.
"I wouldn't actually have minded him forgetting again if he'd just got over it and tried to make the day really lovely," she said, "but he was so bothered about his failure that he kept bashing around the flat going: 'Oh GOD why am I SUCH a FUCK-up' for hours and hours, until I finally managed to convince him it didn't matter and that I didn't care.
He rarely swears except during sessions, when he says "fuck" constantly — as in "Fuck, yeah," "Fuck, no," "Stop being such a fucking baby," and "Shut the fuck up" — a habit that can shock patients used to coddling and, in some instances, is a sympathetic mirroring of their speech patterns.
It was a fucking disaster, such a comprehensive fuck up!
Without Mensch's search, we would not know there are people exclaiming: "Oh my dayz" at Jeremy Paxman and a tweet such as: "Louise Mensch is such a knob, fuck off slut" would never have found an audience beyond the few score of her followers who already enjoy similar assessments of, say, Tulisa ("Tulisa is an ugly slutty chav") or Justin Bieber ("I hate Justin Bieber so much, stupid twat").
And one, The Island of Doctor Moreau, by South African Richard Stanley, which fell apart so badly that Perlman was able to spend five days on set with Marlon Brando, instead of a projected one and a half, "because it was such a cluster-fuck of a movie otherwise, after the original director [Stanley] got shanghaied by this studio motherfucker I won't name.
'She couldn't really sing, not properly, but she had such a ballsy, fuck-off quality to her voice that it didn't matter if she hit the right notes, so I thought well I'll try that approach.' In truth, however, she hasn't got Marlene's iconic, screen-burning sexuality.
They were such a gigantic fuck-up that a mere two years after being erected they were deemed unsafe for families to reside there.
At the very least—if there is a positive to take from such a horrifically fucked up and devastating case like this it should open peoples' eyes to the complexity of sexual extortion.
