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Be specific, try to shoot for traits she values in herself, and try to only compliment things she has control over.
If you don't usually make up fictional places and have trouble imagining something that specific, try visualizing a place from a story that would feel safe and calm, like Hogwarts instead of an imaginary cabana if you've never been on a cruise.
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I remember being so frustrated, tapped out and over a specific trying situation until I read one of my trusted books and suddenly I'd have a change of heart.
For the specifics, try our book, or co-author Larry Kotlikoff's software at maximizemysocialsecurity.com, which is widely acknowledged to be the best thing out there for doing the actual calculations.
Once you have established the specifics, try to think like a person in that group.
On a number of other major issues, Romney has avoided specifics, trying to keep the focus on Obama's economic record rather than debate policy choices.
When it becomes specific I try to stop and give it space.
Beyond that, folks still have a hard time relaying the exact volume of their items no matter how specific they try to be, which usually results in the originally quoted price jumping up to more than was expected.
If you're feeling shy talking about specific questions, try making a list you can go over with your doctor.
Instead of endlessly attending "networking events" for your specific field, try to mix up your network by spending time with people from related but different industries than the one you work in.
Be specific, but try to avoid gossiping.
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Justyna Jupowicz-Kozak
CEO of Professional Science Editing for Scientists @ prosciediting.com