His imagined situations read like sketches he might have conceived at his old job as a writer for "Saturday Night Live".
To overcome your (understandable) anxiety in these awkward situations, read How to Think Clearly and Logically Under Pressure.
I explain the entire situation, reading all the emails aloud, some stretching back into 2015, but he just stares at me, dull-eyed like a fish, and calls me a "one-woman information clearing house".
And when they do, they'll be in the same situation reading those thoughts that you were in writing them: alone with a keyboard, a blank screen and something to say.
Improving yourself can mean taking a yoga class, volunteering, spending more time learning lessons from the elders you care about, learning to see multiple perspectives about a situation, reading the news, and striving to learn new things.
You need somebody there who is really competent who can read the situation, read the animals.
But in the right system (read: Josh McDaniels's) and in the right situation (read New England), he can be as dangerous as anyone in the game.
"We were selected as the preferred bidder in January but were advised by the Football League that their priority was to resolve the Leeds United situation," read a Luton club statement.
In case you need a quick reminder of the situation, read my colleague Ian Sample's many, many guides to the headache being faced by the Nobel committee when it comes to the Higgs discovery.
"We are concerned by the developing situation," read an SFA statement.
