But how do you tell a student, who is in effect grading you, where they're going wrong, or give them a shitty mark for shitty work?
Peter broke down the four categories of paparazzo: minimum-wage droogs with shitty consumer-grade cameras (most likely stolen), decent photographers in need of money, super-creep steely-eyed psychopaths who could probably make it through Navy SEAL training, and the Brazilians.
They're pulling regular 70-hour weeks trying to squeeze in enough time to read, research, write, prepare lectures, prepares seminars, organise conferences, organise departmental events, allocate administrative tasks, complete administrative tasks and finally teach you and then grade your shitty paper that you wrote in four hours the night before it was due.
If a school gets a reputation for having low grades and shitty teachers, it won't get the vouchers.
Anyway, for those of you who wanted a more in-depth explanation, I thought I'd speak to a drug expert to see what the difference is between taking shitty cocaine and the high-grade stuff now inexplicably on our streets.
Imagine if that shitty baking soda volcano you made in third grade was actually the floor of your classroom and when it erupted it blew up the entire school then poisoned all the remaining survivors with insidious gas.
That means you should treat yourself like Ms. Rogers, your first grade teacher, who, after you drew a shitty portrait of your dog that looked like a lawn mower, marveled in excitement, "Impressive, sweetheart!
He spent his youth getting poor grades in school and then flailing around with shitty, menial jobs as a young man, frittering away in a post office, a mortuary, a kitchen..
Eventually you and your e-crush end up somewhere, probably a shitty afterparty on Van Horne, you sleep together, and then she stops emailing you probably because she realized what a Grade-A narbo you are.
