Early on, that meant making loop-based tracks on "really shit and slow" software and playing them over a karaoke machine, while each member took it in turns to improvise into a cheap Argos mic hanging from the ceiling.
It's sort of corny and shit and slow: FIFA is at its most frustrating when it is actively stopping you from playing FIFA, rolling you through layer upon layer of menus, making you do a training drill while the game loads, playing its infernal music, and The Journey is a lot of Not Playing FIFA occasionally intersected with A Bit Of Playing FIFA.
After a few months, we had three people left from our old crowd of a couple hundred, and 150 new people who were all in it for this fuckin' slow shit.
Within the first few minutes, I digested all that, foot chasing, hand-to-hand, death dealing shit until things slowed down.
However, if you're like me, you slow that shit down.
M: I was super buzzed, and I said, "Holy shit, you talk really slow".
They came to a few parties afterwards, hoping it'd be filled with dudes and techno, but it was just slow fucking shit, and they're like, "Aww".
It's an unspoken rule of criminal justice in New York City: The summons system the process by which people are ordered to show up in court is slow as shit.
Luckily, the young driver kept his shit together and calmly slowed down without hitting anything.
Describing hardvapour's conception, the labelhead remarks in the same note, "In the Fall of 2015 WOLFENSTEIN envisioned these Eastern European thug kids becoming inspired by how 'punk' putting your music on Bandcamp could be especially all these imaginary vaporwave aliases except these kids hated all the slowed down shit and thought it was 'for pussies' so they launched HARDVAPOUR".
"Oh shit!" cries Karan, leaping in slow motion from his convertible like a complete wanker.
