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It's worth mentioning here that you definitely do not want to do that; taking a bunch of pills or MDMA in one go is where people run into problems, like having a just incredibly shit night, or ending up in hospital, or – worse – a morgue.
The way he talks to women, the drunker he gets, captures the sadness of a shit night out.
"I had a shit night trying to 'get' myself, which was made harder by the fact my circulatory system had been hammered by this point.
I'm not saying, for instance, that you can't have a shit night out in Liverpool, because – according to people who take time out of their days to review nightclubs on TripAdvisor – you very much can.
You've got to think properly: drifting into alcoholic autopilot means that everyone has a shit night and you never work in this town again, you've got to harness every ounce of concentration you can call upon in times of need.
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"We've just had so many shit nights out in London," he jokes.
More house parties than lectures, more bottles of Sainsbury's Basics vodka than you care to admit, and you've likely endured at least 13 shit nights out at Pryzm (or an Oceana, depending on which university you resorted to after being rejected by your top choices).
You truly are the best, at providing the shittest night out in Britain.
"We were talking so much shit that night.
And so this morning is the morning of the heart in which the vodka, talking shit all night, dissolves into pure sunlight, purer thought, and I'm not a whore and I'm not a bastard and I wake clear-headed and see above the clouds like a swept-bare prison yard each cool hard instant of nothing but blank sky.
"You do, occasionally, just look at your feet and think, 'This is the same old shit every night,' " Richards has said, and yet he goes on playing and the crowds go on paying, reluctant to give it up, the last link to glory days.
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Justyna Jupowicz-Kozak
CEO of Professional Science Editing for Scientists @ prosciediting.com