No doubt his vitalism was a sick man's dream of health, and the sickness sometimes corrupts the dream with misanthropy, misogyny, and self-despair.
Rather than fall deeper into a hole of self-despair, I guess I saw that I had to find a way out to survive".
More often they have the sting of real self-despair: he's akin, he realizes, to an alcoholic who "punishes himself by drinking more".
Grim as the Saudi desert may be, it is not the Somme, nor the jungles of Vietnam, and the range of the sniper's emotions tends to run from self-aggrandisement to self-despair.
He laid out emotional regulation strategies for his followers, saying, "Let us not wallow in the valley of self-despair" nor "degenerate into physical violence".
He said investigators have learned that the gunman harbored "self-despair and anger at himself and where his life was," which often manifested itself in online screeds against police and government, and that he'd tried to hang himself a year ago.
They think they're beyond cheap emotions, false hopes, self-indulgent despair, easy answers.
For the next 72 hours, I endure a brutal, self-lacerating despair.
Feel the anger, frustration, self-pity, despair; lust for revenge or whatever comes over you.
His kink is that he aspires to be Beethoven, yet sinks into self-doubting despair when he writes.
