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"I'm this big rich athlete, but how do I know what they're going through?
For the first time the winner will become an instant millionaire – or, in reality, whichever already rich athlete it is will have his already bulging bank account enhanced by a further £1m.
He's rich because he did plumbing work on some rich athlete's toilet, and he's always threatening to cut your dick off, mush it up in a food processor, and feed it to you through a beer bong if you dare hurt little Sasha.
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And while more outlets appeared for joking about jocks, the world of sports became increasingly easy to satirize as rich athletes landed in drug and sex scandals while charging their fans for autographs.
"These rich athletes don't trust anybody," he said, "because they figure most people are out for their money: 99 out of 100 people would not be able to talk to them, but Iris can".
It's a fast-growing sport, Nascar is, popular among many rich athletes who worship speed, which brings to mind the basketball players Bobby Phills and David Wesley, who pretended they were Dale Earnhardt and Jeff Gordon one day last year after practice.
Reilly, meanwhile, called upon centuries later to herald the physical giants of his age, is a kind of anti-Pindar, using goofball doggerel to cut rich athletes with big egos down to size.
Young, rich athletes, just a few years removed from hanging out with friends who do not respect the fact that these athletes have moved on in their lives, are going to realize they cannot depend on police, alarm systems or bodyguards to keep them safe.
I eliminated about 99percentt of my sports watching (and enjoyed no longer rooting for spoiled, rich athletes and very spoiled, even richer owners).
Portugal boast the newly enthroned world's richest athlete and this tournament's all-round Speedo-posing standout star (plus a decent supporting cast).
The product contributed $1.9m to her estimated $29m earnings over the past 12 months, making her the richest athlete in women's sport, according to Forbes magazine.
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Justyna Jupowicz-Kozak
CEO of Professional Science Editing for Scientists @ prosciediting.com