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UPDATE: We regretfully announce that Liu Xia is no longer able to attend this event.
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report) — James Comey, the F.B.I. director, held a press conference on Sunday to "regretfully announce" that Hillary Clinton had committed no crimes related to her e-mails while Secretary of State.
"I must regretfully announce that today, there are no Voltaires in France". Nekkaz said he has been targeted for his actions: He has undergone four international tax audits since 2010, and his tenants have been threatened with legal action, he said.
The entire family of the late Mazi Joseph Onyeabor Okoro of Ndi Ajuwa at Amiyi Ahaba Imenyi in Isuikwuato LGA of Abia State Nigeria, regretfully announce the sudden and untimely death of their son, husband, father, brother, nephew, uncle and cousin.
The translation service for the House of Congress have had to regretfully announce some corrections to news reports of the House Oversight and Government reform committee.
"We regretfully announce that we will not (be) renewing our contract for the lease at 225 Forest.
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The family of Herbert L. Eisen regretfully announces his passing on Sunday, May 7, 2000 at the age of 79 years.
"As part of this process, we are today regretfully announcing the closure of 72 stores across the United Kingdom and the loss of 452 jobs.
In June the Gulf Research Centre, a respected privately funded think-tank that has been based for more than a decade in Dubai, one of the UAE's seven statelets, regretfully announced it was closing its offices owing to the government's unexplained failure to renew an operating licence.
Brand New was set to play on the main stage at the 2013 Reading and Leeds Festivals, but regretfully announced on June 27 that "due to insurmountable personal issues, they have been forced to cancel their August European tour, including appearances at the Reading and Leeds Festivals.
A statement on the band's website reads: "Regretfully, Motörhead announces it has had to cancel its remaining six summer festival appearances.
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Justyna Jupowicz-Kozak
CEO of Professional Science Editing for Scientists @ prosciediting.com