Despite Downing street's insistence that Brexit was always likely to begin in late March, Whitehall sources had indicated to the Guardian that May was ready to trigger article 50 on Tuesday as the Brexit bill cleared its final parliamentary hurdles.
Cross over three fences topped with razor wire, trenches packed with more barbed wire, risk detection by motion sensors ready to trigger pepper spray, then face the truncheons of two police forces, and two things happen.
The blue star is the epicenter, the red dots are MyShake phones that were not ready to trigger, probably because of human activity, while the yellow-orange dots are phones that were primed but did not trigger.
You've probably never heard of him, but incoming Asda boss Sean Clarke is said to be the man with his hand wavering over the red button, ready to trigger a supermarket price war to end all price wars.
From now on, "2 double tap" shows up on the final AssistiveTouch panel, called Favorites, ready to trigger with a single tap by a single finger or stylus.
The European Council president Donald Tusk said Theresa May had told him during their meeting at Downing Street last week that she would be ready to trigger Article 50 to begin Brexit by February 2017.
But there is a persistent rumour that late 2017 or even early 2018 is more likely, partly because it could take Whitehall at least that long to be ready before triggering the two-year exit talks, and partly because Dutch, French and German elections will get in the way.
They found bomb shops: nearly a tonne of high explosives, bomb-making guides, an IED ready to be triggered and a disassembled suicide vest.
When your inner being is a mall cop on a power trip that is ready to pull the trigger at the slightest indication of danger, real or imagined, you become a lot less effective at living to your full potential and spend a lot of time fighting unseen (and sometimes non-existent) enemies.
