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I must say to everyone, who ever read this: it is not true.
If you're a grown man when you read this — it is my intention for this letter that you will read it then — I'll have been gone a long time.
As you read this, it is already being rewritten from the point of view of the author's children, whose clamor for lunch is left unheard; the online programmers, whose agency in getting it to the office is left unseen; and the copy editor, who invisibly fixes its grammar while sighing at its small ironies.
If you're wearing Allbirds as you read this, it is thanks to the fact that a very small group of people actually took that leap, initially.
As you read this it is going to sound so fanatically wingnut/John Birch Society/black helicopter/precious bodily fluids weird that you are likely to dismiss it as the rantings of crazy people.
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Read this, it's funny.
So I can read this, it's really bad.
If Stormfront is back at number one when you read this, it's because I've run out of funds.
That's why you need to read this – it's everything you wanted to know about pensions but were too bored to ask.
Although I patiently reminded my American readers to bear in mind English irony when they read this, it was not all a joke.
And you just read this, it's a rather long article.
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Since I tried Ludwig back in 2017, I have been constantly using it in both editing and translation. Ever since, I suggest it to my translators at ProSciEditing.

Justyna Jupowicz-Kozak
CEO of Professional Science Editing for Scientists @ prosciediting.com