All mothers know that drawing up birth plans can prove pointless when labour takes a different course.
Punishments came and went like any other fad in the outside world but favourite methods included writing essays, memorising chapters of the Bible, a paper-clip daisy chain wrapped around your head and then hooked to each cheek to force a smile, running laps around a driveway, pointless manual labour, isolation, public beatings, bread-and-water diets.
Aria was forced to undertake pointless physical labour, like cutting down huge trees and dragging them along the ground for half an hour, as well as being told to sit opposite a wall at night and continuously write stuff like, "I am a slut" and "I'm not good enough".
Synths beetle blithelyalong, and a vocalist intones "good fucking wishes to you and your fuckhead asshole family" before continuing, "May you prosper in all your pointless fucking labours".
Calling for a debate on the future of Labour is pointless - people don't believe in ideas, they believe in people who believe in ideas.
He and George Osborne, the shadow chancellor, have identified a few programmes to axe, such as Labour's pointless identity-card scheme, some costly databases and the odd quango: things few people cherish or would miss.
Even though Empire gave it a good crack a while ago, unpicking the various timelines hinted at in the Terminator films (let's not include the Sarah Connor Chronicles TV show here, because I don't want to live in a world where the lead singer of Garbage turning into a murderous robotic urinal is canon) is a pointless work of backbreaking labour.
Tuneless, witless, pointless: Is this the best Labour can do?
Elsewhere, the pointless cruelties continue: for example, Labour proposes to keep and possibly tighten the coalition's household benefits cap, which breaks up lives while saving almost nothing.
The point of this seemingly pointless campaign is to build Labour support in a traditionally Tory town for future elections, not to spring a surprise unseating this time around.
