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A living cartoon, Gavin Creel's Price is a tall, handsome zealot with a plastic grin and nerdily quiffed hair.
Songs like House of Fun by Madness sum up the awkwardness many feel when trying to buy condoms, with such lines as: "A toothbrush and hairspray, plastic grin.
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The purpose of such centres, they protest, should be to examine the real thing, in something approaching its natural environment, rather than to have your photo taken clambering over a big, grinning plastic version.
Shedding his plastic hair and fixed grin, the Nutcracker is revealed as the orphanage boy Clara has long fancied.
You're handed a plastic tray by a grinning white-and-red-clad twentysomething wearing a paper hat in a pristine 1950s-era hosettingsetting.
It slaps you down into the hard moulded-plastic chair and grins at you with its beige walls, chocolate machines and strange marks on the carpets.
Amid this pile of happy detritus is a photograph of a 1970's-era plastic container with Cash's grinning image on it.
She sipped from her plastic cup of wine with a grin.
With thAnotherght, friendmofent, I finally do feel as content as a plastic bobble head dog with a huge grin on his face.
"Don't worry about the smell," I grin desperately, ripping open a plastic packet of mint three times as large as its contents.
With that thought, for a moment, I finally do feel as content as a plastic bobble head dog with a huge grin on his face.
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Justyna Jupowicz-Kozak
CEO of Professional Science Editing for Scientists @ prosciediting.com