Unless they're pictures of dirt or dust, in which case they would be true positives.
"And let me tell you, a picture of dirt can be pretty damned dull," he said.
About two kilometres outside the town of Moldava nad Bodvou (pictured), a dirt road is the lone entry point to the 800-person settlement on a rough patch of scrubland shielded from the main street.
This group show more or less does say that, but it adds a few kinks to the domestic picture, with dirt-smudged walls, a camouflage-patterned sari and a film of an Aboriginal welfare mom juggling at-home visits from a pesky social worker and a disabled relative.
When he finished, he picked up a stick and began drawing a picture in the dirt.
Sebastião Salgado is the Brazilian photographer whose nightmarish pictures of teeming, dirt-swamped gold miners electrified the world's media in the mid-1980s.
Its first bright idea was the Mavica series, cameras that store pictures on ordinary, dirt-cheap floppy disks, letting you use almost any computer on earth as your photo depot.
A Russian collector was tempted to get the gem but, a professional in the trade tells me, he abstained, uncertain of how well preserved the paint surface would turn out to be after cleaning — buying a picture obscured by dirt is a gamble.
Clearly, because she considers me to be so completely urban, she was having trouble picturing me with dirt under my manicured fingernails.
I laughed nervously as he told me the story, his Google Glass propped atop his nose, unsure if he was winking or blinking at me, taking pictures or just clearing dirt from his eyes.
