There follow Requiem for the Static King Parts One and Two (listen above), Minuet for a Cheap Piano Number Two, A Symphony Pathetique, All Farewells Are Sudden and Steep Hills of Vicodin Tears.
Also contributing to the solemn tone of the night: Henry Bromell's posthumous win for writing for a drama series for Showtime's "Homeland," and Sir Elton John honoring the late Liberace with a piano number called "Home Again".
He kept quiet about his hand problems generally but once in a while he would look up from the piano between numbers and say: "No hands, boy!" Nevertheless, he never failed to pull something new out of the bag on every gig I ever played with him.
1. Enigma Variations (9) 2. Jerusalem (8) 3. Prisoner's chorus from Fidelio (6) 4. Beethoven's Pastoral Symphony (5) 5. Nkosi sikelel' iAfrika (5) 6. Chariots of Fire Theme (4); Joe Hill (4); We'll Keep a Welcome (4); Rachmaninoff Piano Concerto number 2 (4); Puccini's Madame Butterfly (4); Beethoven's Piano Concerto number 5 (4); Twenty-Third Psalm (4); Bethoven's Choral Symphony Number 9 (4).
Joey then completed his final task, playing a piano with numbered, bug-ridden keys, in order to win ten stars for camp and achieve his best result to date.
After a titanic Seventh Symphony on the final evening, Cohen's first chords in Piano Concerto Number Five obliterated everything in the hall, and you knew you were hearing the real Beethoven.
The starkest example of this was when Napoleon shelled Vienna; it is a humiliating insult to everything Beethoven stood for therefore to use Napoleon's title as the nickname for Piano Concerto Number Five.
Chart-topping UK house duo Blonde, fresh from the riotous success of their tune "I Loved You," featuring Melissa Steel last year, are back with the similarly summery piano house number "All Cried Out," featuring powerhouse vocalist and Glee Star Alex Newell.
It's not a Deadmau5 set without a self-indulgent movement or two – As I walked away, he was in the midst of a lengthy piano solo number that must have put half the crowd to sleep.
More on all these goodies, and why excellence and integrity at every step is crucial to the classical music listening experience, in my next column, in which I may also reveal my new nickname for Beethoven's Piano Concerto Number Five.
