And as I grew older, and perhaps wiser, I realized that Forest Hills was great, but Forest Hills isn't Fifth Avenue".
Eventually, and perhaps fortunately, I realized that I am not, and cannot be, my children's father.
Perhaps subconsciously I realized that the confirmation ceremony would be the only time in my life, when I would get to walk up a church aisle, adorned in white, with my virginity still in tact.
Perhaps it was the justness of her disregard for the future that shocked me to the core -- the surrender of tiny, mitigating hopes; perhaps I instinctively realized at that moment that the plodding strategies that had saved me could never do enough good for her.
Perhaps more importantly, I realized that this position in society -- that of a young person prepared for success in anything she undertook -- was not necessarily due to my hard work as an individual but to dumb luck.
Perhaps I'm realizing that enjoyment doesn't necessarily have to be a performative act, even for someone who writes about movies.
He continued: But as I was having it I realized perhaps it was a gift, as I could make it as a story, perhaps a scary film, I thought even as I was dreaming.
"Perhaps the first time I realized we were doing something more than entertaining is when people said, 'Hey, if you want to send a message, there's Western Union,' " he said.
Asking "what if nothing really matters?" was not a question I was used to, but this was perhaps the first time I realized how arbitrary my own existence was and is.
The more Ambrosio talked, the more I realized that perhaps I hadn't ever known what I really yearned for.
