If after the initial 2½ hours' cooking the pig is not perfectly crisp, return it to the oven until it is.
It was a perfectly choreographed return, complete with Clemens's pitching to one batter in the fourth inning and then being pulled by Gaetti so he could receive an ovation.
Coutinhobegan and ended the move, supplying Sturridge just inside the area then moving forward to accept a perfectly weighted return pass, before finding Lloris's bottom corner with the neatest of right foot finishes.
On our way out, the Combat Stress press officer asks for a word: don't forget, he says, that most veterans make a perfectly successful return to civilian life.
There were operations glitches getting me signed up, an inability to meet the expectations of their marketing materials and some disagreement over what seemed like a perfectly clear return policy.
But she beat Azárenka in straight sets, and then (after defeating Johanna Konta in the semifinals) went on to beat Williams, stunning the defending champion with perfectly timed returns, sharp cross-court passing shots, and delicate drop shots.
Mulgrew continued his run, picked up on Naismith's perfectly-weighted return pass to send a high, hanging cross to the back post where Snodgrass showed greater desire than Dejan Lovren to head down past Stipe Pletikosa.
But he lost the point, and after another dominating point by Djokovic, in which the Serb timed a backhand return perfectly, Nadal faced three break points.
The Swiss then hits a nice straight backhand return, perfectly placed down the line, which our boy just can't reach despite his huge wingspan.
Then there are the low politics, which have already been signalled, almost too perfectly, by the return of Peter Mandelson to the cabinet.
