Without a shirt, especially, on girls or boys (long, dirty hair in either case maximizes the effect), and with a cup of coffee, a pair of long johns can accomplish more fashion-as-sex than even jeans, even a perfect white T-shirt, even black heels or lingerie, none of which offers the body up in the same unmediated way.
We went upstairs in some nondescript building on Fifth Avenue, one of those places that had someone standing outside with a sandwich board, and he bought a suit for a hundred and ninety dollars, which he wore with a pair of John Lobb shoes he'd bought in London for a thousand dollars or more.
The tool does the hard work of figuring out what your giftees are interested in by analyzing their Facebook likes and Pinterest pins to let you know your guy will adore a pair of John Varvatos driving mocs ($188) or your gal a Marc by Marc Jacobs bunny-ear iPhone cover ($48).
I may not have done well enough to own a Bell & Ross timepiece or slip my toes into a pair of John Lobb shoes, but that doesn't diminish the enjoyment I get from looking at them and dreaming of a future in which I could do those things.
A few years ago I modelled a pair of long johns for this column.
Leah bought herself a pair of long johns and a pair of briefs (£9.99) for her dad, Dave, which Beckham signed.
Add a pair of long johns, and there's a good chance you'll look like you've just stepped off the set of Little House on the Prairie.
A pair of long johns seems to come alive, a finger pops through a hole in a jumper, a mitten becomes a puppet (until Laurie stuffs it into his mouth).
It may be tongue-in-cheek, but there's no doubting that the wildlife – conjured from a black tailcoat and a pair of long johns or a swimming hat, goggles and a moustache – is based on close observation.
Had he had any talent as a guitarist, the python sneakers, as well as the cotton-knit boxer briefs — a men's underwear breakthrough he conjured by butchering a pair of long johns while working for Calvin Klein in the early 90s — might never have existed.
