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Cato the Elder describes a 2nd-century-bc rotary quern consisting of a concave lower stone and a convex upper, turned by a pair of asses.
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Baise-moi (2000) Baise-moi was a rape'n'revenge saga that attempted to have its cake and eat it; a hardcore Thelma and Louise that dispatched a pair of ass-kicking porn starlets on a mission of reprisal.
Don't get us wrong, we've got nothing against Jeff Koons Baroque Eggg with Bow (~$7 million) or Robert Gober's funky sculpture of musical notes printed across a pair of ass cheeks (~$3 million).
Vlodomir uses our cat-eyed protagonist to make merry with the other guests, sticking a pair of ass ears on his noggin, indulging in some filthy pig wrangling, and making inappropriate comments about the bride and groom to their faces.
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Straight audiences will likely never have heard of Brent Corrigan, and gay audiences will die of exposure slogging through turgid, sexless dialogue waiting for a glimpse of any male body part that isn't a pair of rapidly pumping ass cheeks.
The song played: I've got a hard-ass pair of shoulders.
Last I checked, I shouldn't need to buy a portable headphone amp for a cheap-ass pair of earbuds.
If I wanted to get out of there without a pair of Jimmy Choos in my ass, I'd have to be sneaky when wooing the future hubbies and brides by targeting stragglers who'd fallen outside the frantic gaze of their ball and chains.
Then there's the (slightly less serious) investigation a pair of our correspondents did into the asses plowed by Fidel Castro.
He is the rare man of sixty-two who is not shy about showing his ass — an ass finely sausaged into a pair of alarmingly tight black jeans — to twenty thousand paying customers.
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Since I tried Ludwig back in 2017, I have been constantly using it in both editing and translation. Ever since, I suggest it to my translators at ProSciEditing.

Justyna Jupowicz-Kozak
CEO of Professional Science Editing for Scientists @ prosciediting.com