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And I often catch myself considering colleges in terms of what I would prefer.
Now, at the third anniversary of Jake's death, I often catch myself planning to make good on the visit I promised him six years ago.
Fairly or not, I often catch myself suspecting that work that's been unilaterally praised is either boring (what kind of art is so innocent and uncomplicated as to bestir only gracious titters of approval, like a child's finger painting?) or provocative in such a way that critics are paralyzed, terrified to dissect it for fear of being seen as unsophisticated or boorish.
It's hard to do, and I often catch myself making this mistake when I am frustrated with what has not been done, but training, self-awareness, and having a person nearby who'll call you on it helps.
It's something I so often catch myself thinking about.
I often catch myself allowing new terminology from the classroom to sneak into these interactions, creating confusion.
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I often caught myself trying to figure out if my thighs were touching or not.
While I felt safe and comfortable as the only female, twenty-something year old, I often caught myself falling into really strange patterns of behavior: not voicing my opinion on topics I felt strongly about, switching to a "cutesy" sounding voice, apologizing incessantly, and the most destructive -- not valuing myself enough to negotiate my salary.
Although my group and I were able to successfully work as a team throughout the entirety of the course, I often caught myself longing to work on certain projects alone, especially the ones where we had the opportunity to choose the topic.
"I often catch a glimpse of myself in a window or a mirror and my heart sinks.
Every so often I caught myself reaching and gesturing for my absent beard, like a phantom limb.
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Since I tried Ludwig back in 2017, I have been constantly using it in both editing and translation. Ever since, I suggest it to my translators at ProSciEditing.

Justyna Jupowicz-Kozak
CEO of Professional Science Editing for Scientists @ prosciediting.com