Barn-storming Victorian actors, as you might expect, milked things terribly, staggering back on to the stage hanging off the curtains, and reviving only with applause.
And make sure the curtains are long enough — dry cleaners or tailors can hem off-the-shelf curtain panels for a perfect fit.
About the only difference between the solo choreography and how the stars show off during the curtain call is an increase in intensity.
Revolutionary Road kicks off when the curtain rises on a cringe-making amateur theatrical performance in the suburbs sometime in the late 1950s.
Robbie Collin, reviewing for The Telegraph, said: "Coppola and her young cast make the gang's actions creepily plausible: if celebrities are the new gods, these youngsters are storming the Holy of Holies and making off with the curtain.
Don't forget to turn off the side curtain air bags; you could get an up-close demonstration of their pyrotechnic deployment if the vehicle's lean angle becomes too extreme.
Though travel guides sometimes file the region under eastern Europe, locals prefer to think of themselves as central Europe, having long since shaken off the iron curtain and invested in a lift system every bit as modern as that of its Alpine neighbours.
This elimination round happens twice... and then there's a play-off with the curtain raised, so the selectors at last see who is playing for them.
Clients pay £20 for a half-hour session, £10 of which goes to Sandy for the use of the curtained-off changing area at the far end of her New Age shop.
With that, the Olsens scooped up their silver statues and flitted off behind the curtains.
