The phrase "noticed upon" is grammatically correct and can be used in written English.
It is typically used to indicate that someone or something caught the attention of the speaker or writer. Example: As I walked through the park, I noticed a beautiful butterfly resting upon a flower.
The first thing I noticed upon my return was the familiar smell.
But he noticed, upon lifting the pen, a slight tremor in his hand.
In three of the structures molecular rearrangements are observed that match with conformational changes also noticed upon tRNA substrate binding.
What I noticed, upon my visit, was the lack of oral history in the telling of the Native American experience.
The variation in the flow of electron is noticed upon adsorption of TMA and n-BA molecules in the transmission spectrum of stanene nanotube.
The first thing I noticed upon moving in, however, was the proliferation of openly drunk men at the corner of 117th and Lex.
The first thing you notice upon taking your seat for a match at the Crucible theatre is that it's much smaller than you thought it would be.
The first thing you notice upon visiting the two places is how much less trash there is on the grounds at Eastchester.
The first thing you notice upon entering Mitiga Airport in Tripoli is a series of signs with the word "No" in capital letters next to illustrations of automatic weapons.
The second thing you notice, upon stepping over the threshold and triggering the buzzer, which is very loud, is that little appears to have changed in this small, dark shop in maybe half a century.
The rosé people tend not to be "real" wine people, as you can't help but notice upon witnessing their ritual gatherings, where wine is not so much drunk as englutted.
