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My valves?
They're about the state of my valves and cholesterol and blood pressure, and how their health impacts my long-term quality of life.
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My valve repair was done by keyhole surgery, so I have barely any scars and was up and about extremely quickly, much faster than if they'd had to do a more invasive operation.
Mr. Ives's rhyming couplets playfully range from stylish to silly, and much of the humor is derived from anticipating the next pun or joke, as when Dorante compares his reticent sweetheart to a clam and tenderly says, "You may be a bivalve, but you're my valve".
Luckily, many of us have blowoff valves, like our blogs (I'm paid to open my valve, to my everlasting wonder), our Facebook accounts, and so on.
And horror upon horrors: sometimes the poster's body text is sans-serif ["I think I just saw Helvetica on that poster! Oh, my valve!" Steve exclaims, clutching his chest and collapsing to the floor.].
I was approved because of my valve".
But I heard it — my billowing valve, my flapping leaflet — and I was transfixed.
"I'm sure you've got other things to be talking about, but a shoddy internet connection means I can't go on Twitter and tell the world about this, so you're my release valve," reports my colleague John Ashdown.
I blew one of my heart valves from injecting heroin and crack in 2006, so I had to have open heart surgery and a metal valve placed in my heart.
I have to admit it's quite frustrating being the only person who knows and often I've hankered to go onto YouTube to reveal the truth under a pseudonym just to release my pressure valves but I know the answer would be ignored.
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Since I tried Ludwig back in 2017, I have been constantly using it in both editing and translation. Ever since, I suggest it to my translators at ProSciEditing.

Justyna Jupowicz-Kozak
CEO of Professional Science Editing for Scientists @ prosciediting.com