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"Criticise my missus?
"My missus wouldn't be too pleased".
"My missus has been crying for three weeks".
"F****** hell, I can't even phone my missus.
"Ours are never going swimming again," says my missus.
"Fucking hell, I can't even phone my missus.
"My missus watches you all the time," he says.
"I didn't say, I want my missus in it".
Props to my missus, she's hanging in there.
Quite literally tailor-made for my missus then.
Although my missus wouldn't be too pleased to hear that".
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