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But most of all, I'd like to thank Nick Clegg for being my fag.
Smoking was part of my identity, devil-may-care, naughty, rebellious, but I also knew I was badly addicted, welded to my fag packet.
A man in Abertillery said: "My argument is there's no signs saying there's going to be £75 (fine), and plus there's nothing to put my fag in.
But there have been other seconds - about 2.2 billion of them at the time of writing, according to my fag packet calculations.
My fag friend said, "Oh, that means you're straight.
"I prefer 'queer dear,'" Anna once said after I referred to her as my "fag hag".
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My fag-packet logic tells me it would mean tens of billions in lower healthcare costs, and savings in other areas too.
I was never a heavy smoker; I didn't wake up in the morning and think, 'Where are my fags?' Are you happy?
"So it happens that I lie / Where Mr. Bleaney lay, and stub my fags / On the same saucer-souvenir....".
I don't drink to get pissed, though, I drink to enjoy, otherwise I end up giving all my fags away and kissing everybody [laughs].
He said: 'I won't come to see you no more – I went to get my fags out of the motor and I couldn't get back in.'" When our chat finishes, Chas & Dave head downstairs, where Jamie Cullum is waiting to interview the pair about pub piano playing for a Radio 4 programme he's making about pianos for which they will play some music together.
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Justyna Jupowicz-Kozak
CEO of Professional Science Editing for Scientists @ prosciediting.com