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"He deflects my blow because he knew me so well.
The bottom line is, I'm not proficient at working anything more complex than my blow dryer.
Once I had recovered from my blow to the skull, rugby-tackled the cat to the ground and locked my other three cats in the living room, I opened the window and let this latest jackdaw out into the wild.
Says Chris: "So I got my blow, and I got my 19 year old hooker.
You need to butcher my blow out, too?
Whichever it was, I'm still waiting for my blow job.
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From what I can determine, the use of my blow-dryer is unnecessary, as is my hairbrush.
I woke up this morning to find out that my blow-up mat had deflated.
You can read my blow-by-blow account of Tuesday evening's events here (the action starts at 3.38pm).
Then there are the logistics: trying to co-ordinate, say, a brow touch-up and a file and polish with my blow-dry is near impossible.
Before going to the hair salon for my blow-out, I stopped by the concierge to have her phone in a take-out order from a nearby Chinese restaurant so I could pick it up on my way home.
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Justyna Jupowicz-Kozak
CEO of Professional Science Editing for Scientists @ prosciediting.com