Early in his career Wassermann, whose father was a merchant, wrote for the satirical weekly Simplicissmus in Munich.
"The years 1765 and 1766 will be ever memorable for the glorious stand which America has made for her liberties," one Boston merchant wrote.
"During that period," Merchant wrote, "the Times ignored the comeback of Floyd Mayweather , Jr the top American fighter, vs. Juan Manuel Lopez [sic], the lightweight champion regarded as one of the best fighters in the world, which was bought in over a million homes.
Now tell me that doesn't read like some smartass wind-up merchant wrote it.
"My doctor told me that I am to check my blood twice a day," Merchant wrote in her complaint.
"The London Merchant," written by George Lillo and first performed in 1731, was a hit in the 18th century and has mostly vanished since.
His quarry was an unexpurgated copy of "The Plum in the Golden Vase," an infamously pornographic tale of the rise and fall of a corrupt merchant, written by an anonymous author in the late 16th century.
Updated at 11.02am BST 10.15am BST AP's Nomaan Merchant writes about the agonising wait faced by parents as they seek news of their children: At the church where the surviving children were being taken, parents stared into the distance with worry as they waited, some holding the hands of young children who were missing siblings.
"We do all the work — from creating welcoming homes in neighborhoods you want to live in and setting up Wi-Fi and utilities to furnishing the place and finding people you'll love living with," Merchant writes to her prospective customers.
Last month, the Jackson Heights Merchants Association wrote to Mayor Bloomberg urging that the city recognize the first day as a holiday.
