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Since he first began running for office in 1995, Barack and Michelle Obama have never really stopped struggling over how to combine politics and marriage: how to navigate the long absences, lack of privacy, ossified gender roles and generally stultifying rules that result when public opinion comes to bear on private relationships.
Self-help preachers tell us how to be happy in marriage, how to be successful in work, how to cultivate peace in our spirits, and so forth.
It is a familiar problem, widely known as the December dilemma: the annual conflict faced by millions of adults in interfaith marriages over how to decorate homes, how and when to give gifts, and which rituals to celebrate.
Or when Kevin Kline, Adam's father, who is dating his son's former lover who is half his age, says, "One thing you learn after two failed marriages is how to eat kitty".
Following suit, we thought it best to stick to dissecting the good parts of our marriage and how to improve them, as marriage can bring out people's worst.
I'm in the land of marriage and how to make that great.
George often listed his wife, Berthe, as a co-author, though she's notably absent from his marriage guide, "How to Live With a Bitch".
So we have to be there for them, use our lessons learned in the marriage fight — how to win when it's difficult, how to change minds that are difficult to change".
So today's real choice is not whether to redefine marriage but how to do so: as a club only heterosexuals can join or as the noblest promise two people can make.
