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Last year pubs pulled less than half as many pints as they did 30 years ago.
Perhaps the poltergeists had a few too many pints before heading upstairs.
How many pints of Morrissey-Fox Blonde ale do you shift?
The necks, though not trimmed like those at the Sea Swirl, had none of the elastic bite I had encountered in many pints along the way.
He pauses to do some quick mental arithmetic, as casually as I might tot up how many pints of milk to grab from Sainsburys.
So serious has Ukip's ambition become that platform speakers at its own conference have finally stopped boasting about how many pints they sank the previous evening.
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The photographer Jonno Rattman was on hand at this year's finals to capture the competitors, many pint-sized, as they jockeyed for position.
Hence "Jack fell down and broke his crown" (many pint glasses in the UK still have a line marking the 1/2 pint level with a crown above it) "and Jill came tumbling after".
2.02pm:@eolai has been staring at the booze: "Have you ever see so many flat pints (of stout?) in a pub in Ireland.
Instead they're sitting at Therme Erding's pool bar wearing nothing but an electronic wrist tag, which tots up how many half pints of local Erdinger lager they've supped through the night.
Ed Balls - piano player and pro-Tweeter - lost his seat, Harriet Harman drove a pink minibus around the country encouraging women to vote and Nigel Farage drank many a pint.
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CEO of Professional Science Editing for Scientists @ prosciediting.com