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Mostly I do; I e-mail the editor and make my excuse: Thank you, but I'm judging a contest and therefore have cartons of novels to read over the next three months.
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I make my excuses and ring off.
I make my excuses and leave.
Once she's sufficiently reassured, I make my excuses and leave.
By 9pm each day, I had to make my excuses and head to bed".
Unconvinced, I make my excuses and leave before someone drops a dishwasher tablet or tries to shave my hair.
What is your room number?" I make my excuses and leave, but can't open the lock on my room.
What's our Duck & Waffle?' If there isn't one, I often make my excuses and scurry away".
Once again I decide it's not worth meeting in a pub, make my excuses and leave.
The two seem dangerously close to doing a party piece knees-up to the Def Leppard disc that's playing away, so I make my excuses to leave.
When it's confirmed that, no, only one of these two pathetically non-digital-things costs 1p, I slip the real book back on the shelf, shudder with self-loathing, and make my excuses on the way out.
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Justyna Jupowicz-Kozak
CEO of Professional Science Editing for Scientists @ prosciediting.com