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"The one that looks like a mutt," I added.
A British adaptation of a French farce staged by an American director, the show feels like a mutt of a drama, unlike "One Man".
And they are getting away with it like a mutt running down the road with a string of sausages in its jaws.
Like a mutt!
For those who don't know, Jerry Butler was an '80s porn cock who married some chick from The Munsters or The Addams Family or some shit, and his role in this movie is to act like a mutt for Necro's approval.
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There's a sinister edge to some of the tracks – Cat vs Dog offers an alternative to pet worship: "There's nothing I like more than a mutt getting whacked with my baseball bat / that'll stop you barking in the morning … I wanna murder moggies … brains everywhere" – and at times a poignancy.
And then, finally, he's got to find the puppy he promised his daughters Sasha and Malia – "preferably a dog from the shelter", he smiled, "a mutt like me".
I was a mutt, like everyone, and whatever confluent strands had produced me had their own chapters of persecution and oppression, or, to be less polite-society about it, of rape and forced labor and murder.
And when humans are feeling bitter and downtrodden, they are much less inclined to throw a bone, or a slice of spanakopita, to a mutt like me.
Provided my marvelous doctor pumps steroids into my hip or spine when needed, it runs along on the leash like a nondescript mutt and wags its tail.
Swamped in baggy combats and a hoody, topped with that iconic birds' nest, chubby fingers dawdling along the frets, oversized shoes kicking the flange pedal, wonky lips wailing into the abyss – another way of describing Britain's most larcenous venue (£4.50 for an alcopop!) – he's appealingly pitiful, like a forlorn mutt on a Dogs Trust ad.
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Justyna Jupowicz-Kozak
CEO of Professional Science Editing for Scientists @ prosciediting.com