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Under its working title Spare Bricks, it would have featured new music or songs re-recorded for the film, such as "When the Tigers Broke Free" and "Bring the Boys Back Home", respectively.
A made-up story would have been both less weird and more damaging — instead of bizarre remarks, it would have featured wandering hands or worse.
It would have featured a screen of text — "In 1970, Governor Michael Dukakis introduced legislation in Massachusetts to repeal the ban on sodomy and bestiality" — shown over a soundtrack of barnyard animals, bleating.
It would have featured Rowan Atkinson as a Blackadder who is the illegitimate son of Queen Elizabeth II, with Robinson himself shifting from his regular role as sidekick Baldrick to that of a rock band drummer named Bald Rick.
Within a couple of years, it would have featured accompanying a romantic montage in a John Hughes teen drama, and by now it would have been reissued at least twice and those responsible would never have had to work again.
Had the series been picked up by a network, it would have featured Cordelia (voiced by Charisma Carpenter) in more high-school adventures.
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He walked us through it, noting that on the Rotten Tomatoes homepage, the top left column lists "Movies Opening This Week" and would've featured "The Last Jedi" last week.
It is highly doubtful that Time, circa 1985, would have featured the supermodel Christy Turlington in a cover story about yoga, as it did on April 15.
Were it not for her it's fair to say that the Noughties woman's wardrobe would have featured far fewer tutu skirts, name-plate necklaces and oversized corsages – for better or worse.
The Pittsburgh-Denver game in the first week on Sunday night was an early favorite for that spot because it was a rematch of a playoff game and would have featured a ratings juggernaut with Tim Tebow.
Twenty years ago, it's doubtful that a movie like The Skeleton Key would have featured educational material.
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Justyna Jupowicz-Kozak
CEO of Professional Science Editing for Scientists @ prosciediting.com