If you think this may impact your budget, just imagine having to explain to your shareholders the money wasted in litigating a petition for discrimination.
And now imagine trying to explain that to Senator D'Amato.
I can just imagine trying to explain to the court that it wasn't me, it was the monkey.
Imagine trying to explain the 19th-century Mormon migration to Utah with only tree rings and pollen counts.
Imagine trying to explain why there is no ham in hamburger and that it doesn't come from Hamburg.
Imagine trying to explain to a child that some people enjoy pain during sex, and that it's a perfectly natural preference… that his parents share.
As you'd expect, Mozart is a particular favourite with The Marriage of Figaro and Don Giovanni both performed frequently (hardly the most child-friendly of operas, to put it mildly – imagine trying to explain those two stories to your kids).
I imagine trying to explain to the teenaged me who fell in love with his book, Derek Jarman's Garden, and went on to consume everything – the diaries, Chroma, as many of his films as I could get hold of – that one day I'd be weeding his front garden.
It's just that every so often I imagine trying to explain our country to a proverbial Martian or some genius with a time machine from another century, and I say: "Yes, believe it or not, these are the criteria our gatekeepers employ to give people the knowledge to pick the people who will plan our wars, manage our economy, protect our ecosystem and if they deem it necessary, begin a nuclear war".
Imagine trying to explain DNA to someone who would have been relatively, to our standards anyway, poorly educated, a couple of millennia ago.
