The ego I believe my self to be is a mental construct--an idea I have about myself that arises from my body's sensory data informing my brain 24/7 from birth onwards that "I" am a vulnerable, separate stand-alone unit called a fleshly human being who must struggle and fight for survival.
It also really screwed with my ideas about myself and the kinds of people that I loved and trusted: what did that say about me?
Each time my aunt and uncle teased me about being the boy in the picture I felt my mind unravelling: my ideas about myself, my house, my picture and the picture I resembled, the boy who looked like me, and the other house would slide about in a confusion that made me long all the more to be at home again, surrounded by my family.
It seemed I had outgrown it, my desires and my ideas about myself now too large to fit within its boundaries.
My suicidal thoughts only stopped when I forced myself to speak openly about my reality and insisted that others hear me, no matter how contrary my thoughts and ideas about myself and God were from theirs.
I have tried to suppress, ignore, and belittle a complicated mix of emotions, memories, ideas and ideals I have about myself.
"I remember he was asked if he was going to write his memoirs and he replied, 'If I were to write a book, it would be about ideas, not about myself.' " Mr. Levi was also renowned among college and university administrators for his deft handling of civil disturbances on the Chicago campus in 1968.
Everyone has strong ideas about it, myself as well.
Like Moses exiled into the wilderness, it took a while to adjust, and I have to admit for a while I had no idea how to feel about myself.
"There's no condition I deal with on a day-to-day basis that creates any sort of anxiety, but when it comes to my birthday, I've always been uncomfortable with the idea of making something about myself," says Stewart, 32, who works as the director of digital strategy for a New York City media company.
