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The issue isn't with the 22-inch length because there are plenty of those available; where they fall "short" is exactly where I got nabbed: in the 14-inch width.
It was good that time I got nabbed for drinking a beer underage (just kidding, that was a different family member), but bad when every, and I mean every, conversation my family has around the dinner table touches it somehow -- cue my narcolepsy, face in pavlova.
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"If I keep the pencil, will I get nabbed for stealing?" I asked one of the administrators.
After being awake in my cell for a few hours observing the graffiti (seriously, how are they doing that? Are they using their nails to carve tags into the window frames? Why?), I was told that, to speed up my processing, I was being transferred to an East London police station, because that's where I originally got nabbed.
"I too got nabbed a few times by the banks strategies," Lawton wrote in an email.
"We got nabbed in Edinburgh," he says.
I think I've observed a fairly consistent phenomenon with the religious jailhouse types in which the individual earnestly yearns to be rehabilitated from whatever detrimental behavior he got nabbed for.
He then jetted to his home country of Iran, got nabbed in central Europe, and was extradited.
I hope in the next few years that G4S and companies like it get nabbed tagging wooden legs, gravestones or something equally daft: the sooner we get over the ridiculous notion that the private sector is the best answer to reforming public services the better.
For the next two weeks I live out of my truck, showering in the Syracuse gym, moving the Ford around town at night so as not to get nabbed for vagrancy, thinking it might reflect badly on me if I have to call Toby, or Doug Unger, my other future-teacher at Syracuse, and request bail money.
There's a greater risk of getting nabbed, so always an extra thrill.
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Justyna Jupowicz-Kozak
CEO of Professional Science Editing for Scientists @ prosciediting.com