And even though I was surrounded by people in airplanes, airports and hotel lobbies, I never found the time for steady relationships until I had earned well into the millions of miles.
After 44 years of working full-time as a contributing middle-class citizen, I find myself embarrassed and ashamed that I now earn well below the poverty line and that I am close to losing everything.
There were many years when I was making a plentiful salary in addition to being married to a man who earned well, so I continued to indulge my practice of "ignorant bliss," convincing myself that I avoided finances in order to feel abundant; so that more wealth could flow to me.
I guess the fact that I was earning well over six figures as a consultant at Compaq has something to do with it.
He told me that I had a choice – I could either earn well in the private sector without necessarily having access to a good pension; or I could work in the public sector, earning less but with a decent pension guaranteed at the end of my career.
Changes introduced in 2013 mean that as a single parent who earns well I now lose out.
"Well, I earned a brown belt in karate, so I could beat the shit out of people, but that's hypothetical, since it hasn't been tested in a long time.
The old me would head home at the end of the day, reach for the pasta, potato chips and chocolate, and eat herself into a food coma because well, "I earned it". Until I found myself 22 pounds heavier, failing to get my jeans past my hips, and unable to say "no" to food without bingeing.
By walking this trauma trail, I earned back my memories, as well as freedom and ease in my body.
I earned the right of passage and the well-earned crown of the "The Dealmaker".
