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To find a partner, I bribed a friend who writes for another newspaper by offering her dinner.
I bribed a room boy to remove a dead bird from my bathroom, and had a cold shower.
That last day in East Berlin, with no visa and speaking only English and French, I bribed a manic cabbie to speed me through Checkpoint Charlie from the wrong side, back into the West, as I hung out the taxi window waving my passport and shouting, "TV!
Judge Kaplan also claimed I bribed a judge whom I had never seen, met, or talked to.
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You may sense the book entering Flaubertian longueurs as I recount how I swore my pubescent concubine to secrecy while taking her to natatoria in between some sessions of gentle sodomy for which I bribed her with a nickel.
It was after my harrowing defection — in which I bribed my way to a border crossing and escaped by running across a frozen river to China — that I recognized the existence of a third North Korea: a theoretical one.
"I promised to buy her a box of big colored pencils; I bribed her.
Now only a handful of copies of each of its records remain; one of those sides, "Vine Street Drag," is so rare and excellent that I once bribed a collector just to whisper the names of who else owned a copy in my ear.
Well, tell them I bribed you.
"They are alleging I bribed someone," he said, adding that he did "nothing illegal".
"It's all my enemies who said I bribed the court," he said.
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Since I tried Ludwig back in 2017, I have been constantly using it in both editing and translation. Ever since, I suggest it to my translators at ProSciEditing.

Justyna Jupowicz-Kozak
CEO of Professional Science Editing for Scientists @ prosciediting.com