"I would rather measure it in terms of what I actually achieve.
In 1999 I applied to university with the expectation that I would get BBC at A-level, but I actually achieved higher.
And now I was getting the feeling that I was actually achieving this perfect inner connection through his flesh.
Obviously I don't write about families I've worked with, but in Carthage I want to face up to how quickly I became disillusioned and how little I feel I have actually achieved.
One day I realized that I'm a pretty slow typist and if I typed faster, I would actually achieve more.
The long list of tasks I hoped to accomplish, papers I hoped to read, and ideas I hoped to generate far outstrips the list of these things I've actually achieved, and it's left me feeling a little bit adrift.
This something I can actually achieve.'".
I regularly found myself exhausted and partially satisfied afterwards, feeling like I could've done it better or could've done it more despite actually achieving what I set out to do.
So we all skirt the boats and go through the secrecy business, but sometimes I question what it is actually achieving.
And then I try to examine their work with them, and articulate as well as I can how well they are actually achieving those goals, or whether they are in fact delusional.
